It seems most of the population is on some kind of drug for depression or anger. It is easier to drug ourselves then to face our own pain or help another person deal with their pain. In fact we do something really horrible we recommend our loved ones to professional help instead of helping them ourselves or helping ourselves with us.
Why do we need professionals to deal with things that humans have dealt with since they were created?
Get over yourself you are human it is not shocking that because you are on this planet the following will happen if it has not already to you:
- Broken heart
- Loss of Life
- Trust Broken
- Some kind of Abuse
If you think you are the only one going through the event you are going through you are wrong. There are over 7 billion other people on this planet right now and billions more across the galaxy! We are only one planet!
Instead of drugging ourselves further we need to wake up and embrace the pain that way we can heal it.
Your Heart was Broken
The first mistake was believing that your relationship was guaranteed through words or paper from another human who is a species that changes every day. Just like you change every day. You do not wear the same colors, style, eat the same food, watch the same shows, or read the same books you did at ten do you? Of course not! So why do you think that your love that you had as a teenager or in your twenties would not change at lets say age 30? The first step to being in a relationship is understanding it is never going to be forever. Why? Because your body is going to die anyway! It might not have been your fault that person change people just do through diet, religion, friends, work, etc. Chances are your life style no longer matches the other persons and you no longer fit like a glove should fit when you are together! Do not fight about it if you have tried to make the differences work! It is okay to move on and remain friends that way you can treasure the years you had together. If you cant remain friends the only thing left is hate between something that was once beautiful. If it was not beautiful you would never have had it in the first place right? So figure out what went wrong scrap what was bad but come together on what was good even if it means just stepping away from the romance side of it and saying hey we got along best as friends! Can we be friends again? Live up to that and show the person that you once were with in a different way the same respect you would give any friend of yours.
Do not sit and dwell on what might have been or what could have been. Instead look at yourself and ask yourself why was your heart broken in the first place and how can I love again? Did you love yourself first or were you searching for that acceptance you needed from you in other people? Do you feel bad about yourself while you are by yourself? If you answered yes to that last question that is why you are feeling broken. The reasons why you may feel bad about yourself may or may not be your fault. No one can love you like you! Ask yourself what goals did you give up to be in that relationship? What things on your life bucket list do you have left to achieve? Can you learn to love you and how? That is how you move forward from a broken heart. You do not do it by numbing your emotions through drugs. You create new goals, embrace the loss, and move on! Another important question: Do you need another relationship again or do you need to work on you for awhile first?
Loss of Life
Once again you know when you make a friend or fall in love that person will one day die. Why does it shock you when they die? If it did chances are you are not mourning them passing you are mourning the moments you did not have/will never have. Or the things that you will never say or were left unsaid. You cannot correct what you didn’t get done with that person before they died. You can take the memories and the lessons they taught you and live the best life possible to remember them by! That is what you do! You do not stick to wanting them around you. Live life as if they were by your side because they are! They are simply invisible to your human eye. One day you will see them again just in a different place or a different form. If you are sad over the loss of life right now be happy because that person is no longer in pain and they are not waiting for a nuke to be dropped on their heads like we are all waiting on currently! Be happy for them that they don’t have to pay taxes! There is no need to take medication for what the human does naturally which is cry and feel anger when someone passes on. It is okay to feel those emotions but do not remain stuck in those emotions. Remaining stuck is bad. Do you understand?
For some reason we think that because we are born healthy that we are invinsible to bad things happening to us. Things that do not seem fair. Take it from a person who has a chronic issue its not going to get better any time soon or ever! Get over it! In fact embrace the idea of it could get worse! Yes I did that! I embraced the idea that my body could get worse! Why would I do such a thing that’s depressing??!?? Fighting the idea that it could get better is more exhausting that’s why! If I wake up one morning and not one part of me hurts and I can run two miles then well that’s a cure! However in the mean time I appreciate how my body is for that day. Tomorrow it could be so bad I might not even be able to walk without oxygen on. Keeping that in the back of my brain I make sure I do what I can to prevent that from happening every day. That prevention includes a vegan diet, exercise regimen, hot showers, and lots of cannabis. Until I wake up and cannot crawl out of bed I will appreciate every day no matter how I feel. The days that I am in severe pain I embrace it because I became stronger when I got out of it! I became stronger when I learned what I did wrong to trigger that pain to begin with! My pain brings me one step closer to that cure. By telling myself that it can get worse I have not set my mind or body up for failure. It allows me to love me no matter how I feel!
Okay so once again being human you are going to make relationships that involve trust. Usually the first line of trust that is broken is with our parents with the Santa concept. If you keep the trust within yourself you will be fine. Always trust yourself and have a back up plan. Do not blame others when they do something that goes against the trust bond. That goes back to Love and people change and ideas change. Once again why are you shocked the trust was broken? The solution is repairing the damage. If it was a financial loss then you had to many material goods to begin with. You should never own more then what your wallet can handle in the first place. so if you lost trust over a money issue that is probably your fault. If someone screwed you over in that money issue you should have never taken that loan or helped with that loan to begin with. I do not care if it was family whenever you leave yourself open to help someone you leave yourself open to be screwed. On the flipside you risk making a great friend/relationship by helping if it goes right! The risk is yours!
Man that’s tough! I am so sorry if its happened to you! Your right its not fair. Its not fair all your weaknesses were insulted and your fears became real. It is not fair that your strengths were not supported. Yes go ahead and cry it is okay! Do not be angry. Let me explain why. Of course you will feel anger that you were taken advantage of. No it was not your fault it was probably out of your league and your surroundings became to much. Ask yourself why were you abused? People abuse others without realizing it because the abuser: Is suffering themselves! The damage was obviously done to you so what you need to do now is embrace that damage. Embrace your pain. Then decide will you let it control you? Of course not! Your abuser would win and it would just cause you to unknowingly pass on the abuse to the next innocent victim! Do a double take of our life. Are you defensive when you meet someone new or are in a new situation? If you are that is okay you are afraid of being hurt again. But those natural defenses you build to avoid abuse can often push the Good People away who want to help you. In fact it can turn other good people into good people with negative attitudes about other people! Nobody enjoys being pushed away. If you are being asked to receive help talk about the way that the person can help you. Explain to them why you are afraid of getting close.
You Owe or Someone Owes you
If you are depressed because someone owes you something then relax you should have seen it as a gift when you gave it away in the first place! You were only helping that person stay in debt longer when you co-signed that loan for your kid or parent. When you say No to money in relationships you can receive phrases like “F You!” ” Get away from me!” “Your nothing but a user” ” But you already own a house and a car and I don’t have anything!”……
Those phrases are not for you to worry about. In fact it is all the person who is in trouble already just being mad because they have to see the problem for themselves. Let them have their fit and if they refuse to talk to you even if it is family that is okay too. You do not need a CHILD to throw a FIT. Someone with that mindset is obviously a Child and what does an Adult do with a Child? You shut the door and step away while they throw the fit! When they want to talk you listen…but only listen if they are not being insulting and rude! Yes your 50 year old uncle screaming at you is a CHILD! Obviously!
The only way you can help in this situation without being screwed in the future is by Education!
You have to educate the person why they are in debt and how they can get to where you are at in life! Show them their own tools and creativity and help them embrace it! They are obviously feeling short of ideas so they want temporary relief from you..you are not a bank you are human being.
So show them how to have Permanent relief and teach them to embrace themselves!
If you owe money the issue is that you were not patient enough for the item you felt like you needed at the time. Sure it might have been a good idea. If you lost your job do not sit and keep reapplying in the same field of work for years on end. Obviously that field of work will not get you anywhere anymore and you need to use your brain. So go to the library or consult with a few other broke friends or relatives and figure out how to group the creativity together to create income and balance! Yelling, screaming, taking out another loan will not fix your issue. Cutting back on the cable, cell phone bill, and extra things will. Sure it sucks you no longer have a status ego behind your name.
People will know something changed. It is okay because they are only human also…
You are human and so is everyone else so please…
Instead of popping another pill or going to the psychiatrist today can you please take your Monday off and embrace the pain?